Men are often anxious about going to couples counseling. In this post I will give some reasons why, and offer assurance to men who may have one or more of these concerns. I’m going to speak directly to men. Men often worry a female counselor…
Introduction In this post I want to address the five things couples say to me most often in the counseling process that I have to stop and address with them. In their own way, each is “pushback,” not necessarily in the sense that they are…
The way you argue matters. A lot. I have written other posts on this topic, and I see myself writing more in the future, because it’s one of the most common things I hear in couples counseling. Couples who it seems are trying hard to keep…
Love is more than a feeling. Love is a form of sweet labor–fierce, bloody, imperfect, and lifegiving–a choice we make over and over again. If love is sweet labor, love can be taught, modeled, and practiced. This labor engages all our emotions. Joy is the…
The FICO Principle My colleague, fellow relationship therapist Greg Dudzinski, posted this on his Facebook page recently.* Believe patterns, not apologies, it says. Wow. There’s some sage counsel right there. After all, you have a FICO score for a reason. What, you may ask, does…
Posted to Facebook yesterday, April 6, 2022: In every argument there is a “topic,” and then there is what the argument is actually about. They are almost never the same thing.I work with bright, successful people. And yet many keep having arguments that we usually…