• A therapist who works exclusively with couples (82% of counselors who work with couples have had no specific training in how to do this critically important work)
• A therapist who will not blame or scapegoat either of you
• A therapist who will be on the side of the relationship, and will shoot straight with both of you
• A comprehensive scientific relationship assessment to help both you and the therapist understand your relationship’s struggles and strengths as clearly as possible
• A specific plan and path to get you where you want to be
• Specific exercises to complete and conversations to have at home
• Sessions that will connect to what you went through that week
• Summary sent to you after sessions with key points, exercises, necessary worksheets, and tips for applying your new skills at home

The first three sessions are called the Assessment Stage. This is where I’m working to get the best possible understanding of your relationship and what has gone wrong.

Session 1 — I’ll want to get to know you as people and as a couple. 90 minutes.

At home between sessions 1 and 2 — Thorough scientific relationship assessment.

Session 2 — Individual meetings. I’ll spend 45 minutes with each of you individually. 90 minutes.

Session 3 — We’ll review the assessment you took and I’ll give you my sense of where we need to get started with interventions in order to reach the goals you have set for our work together. 90 minutes.

Starting with Session 4, we’re in the Intervention Stage and all sessions from here forward will be 50 minutes.

Sessions will be based on what I have learned about both the struggles and strengths of your relationship, and will flex around the way things have gone in your relationship in the past week. We will use your assessment results and your session goals to help you improve your relationship and get the results you want.

This is the most important relationship in your life. I expect you to:

• Come ready to work incredibly hard to save your relationship.
• Treat our telehealth sessions the same as you would a face-to-face session. Make sure your kids are all set and you can focus on our work. Make sure you are in a place with good wifi, and good lighting.
• Give counseling the time it needs to be effective. How long have you had problems in your relationship? Are you prepared to work hard for six months to turn things around? It might not take that long. And it might take longer.
• Prioritize your finances to be consistent in therapy. Most people don’t think twice about spending thousands of dollars on a wedding, which is one day. Are you prepared to invest in the rest of your life together? Have you thought about what it costs when people choose to split up?
• Try to save us some time by coming into your first session understanding you’re doing it wrong! It’s not a character flaw, it doesn’t make either of you a bad person. But the way you’re doing your relationship right now is what keeps getting you the results you are getting.