Your wedding will be one day.
Your marriage will be each and every day after that — for life.
Invest in your marriage.
Did you just get engaged?
Are you a newlywed?
If so, congratulations to both of you! Marriage is going to be the greatest thing, and easily one of the hardest things, you’ve ever done!
Seriously, it’s both. Just ask anyone who has been married more than three years. Marriage is great. It’s two people who are usually quite different, both seeking to love and be loved, choosing each other as the focus of their love and commitment for a lifetime.
And marriage is hard. He wants a companion and cherishes that they are doing life together day in and day out. She often loves this companionship, but seeks a deeper connection. How are you both going to get what you want? When kids come along and you’re up to your ears in poopy diapers, cleaning crayon off the wall for the tenth time, finishing up school, starting your first adult job, and climbing the career ladder, how are you going to stay connected?
Trust me, it will definitely not always be as easy as it may seem right now.
I’m not trying to scare you. I just want to PREPARE you!
You are prepared for marriage when you are able to:
- Know what what to expect and what to keep top priority in your marriage as the years go by
- Listen to one another deeply, not simply react to what the other person says, but validate their concerns and communicate empathy and understanding. (If you don’t know how to do this, it will eventually cause severe problems in your marriage.)
- Stay truly connected, as defined by both of you
- Understand that when one of you thinks there is a problem in your marriage, there is a problem. Full stop!
If you are prepared, you will be ready to make a serious go at this thing for a lifetime. But if you just count on being “in love” and feeling good to carry you, it’s not going to carry you very far.
I see hurting couples in my office day in and day out, and not a single one of them got married thinking they would ever have the issues I’m helping them with now.
But thorny issues and difficulties are the norm in the even the best relationships. If you go into marriage knowing this, and knowing how to meet the challenges that will inevitably appear, you will be able to ride this marriage to incredible fulfillment and love.
Getting (and for those who work at it, BEING!) married is one of life’s most treasured experiences. Premarital counseling can help you and your partner turn that one momentous occasion, on one glorious day, into a loving, lasting relationship.
Oh, and nearly ever couple I’ve ever done premarital counseling with thought it was a blast! Seriously, you’ll enjoy all you will learn and the discussions you’ll be having will bring you closer and increase your confidence in this huge decision you have made.
So if you’re engaged, you’re likely about to spend a lot of money on your wedding. Most couples do, and that’s okay.
But I want to encourage you also to make a substantial investment into your marriage.
After all, your wedding is one day, but marriage is meant for a lifetime. I’ll help you make sure that’s exactly what’s in store for you.