Marriage counseling for Ann Arbor couples
Marriage Counseling in Ann Arbor
Practical online support for married partners who want a steadier, more respectful way through conflict, distance, or broken trust.
Request a marriage counseling fit call
For couples in Ann Arbor
When the Marriage Is Hurting, Everyday Life Can Start to Feel Heavy
You may be keeping a lot moving. Work, family, errands, and the ordinary demands of the week still need attention. Yet underneath that activity, the marriage may feel tense, distant, or fragile. A small question can become another familiar argument, or you may both avoid the subjects that matter because neither of you trusts where the conversation will go.
Many Ann Arbor couples reach out after trying hard to manage the problem on their own. You may have hoped things would feel easier after a demanding season, a career change, a move, or a child reached a new stage. Instead, the same hurt keeps showing up. You may feel more like capable co-managers of a household than partners who can turn toward each other for comfort and support.
Marriage counseling gives you a focused place to understand what is happening beneath the latest disagreement. The work is not about deciding who is right or making one partner carry all the blame. We look at the sequence that takes over when either of you feels criticized, dismissed, overwhelmed, or alone, then practice a more useful response together.
I work exclusively with couples and meet with Ann Arbor couples by secure video. You can protect time for the relationship from a private setting that works for both of you, without adding another drive or complicated appointment to a full week.
What Can Be Happening
The Problem Is Often Bigger Than the Last Argument
Couples often begin by naming a surface issue: money, parenting, intimacy, household responsibilities, time together, family boundaries, or a decision that keeps coming back. Those concerns deserve attention. But the repeated conflict can also be carrying deeper questions. Do you take me seriously? Can I bring up a concern without being attacked? Are we still on the same side? Can I count on you when something hurts?
Both partners may have a clear explanation for what is going wrong. One may feel ignored and press harder for an answer. The other may feel criticized and pull away, become defensive, or shut down. Each response can make sense from the inside, but together they create a pattern that leaves both partners feeling less heard and less safe.
Distance can also grow quietly. You may be polite, productive, and committed to the practical work of daily life while feeling reluctant to reach for each other. Warmth, affection, humor, and curiosity can start to disappear. By the time you name the problem, you may be worried that the marriage has changed beyond repair.
A hard season does not automatically mean the marriage is over. It also does not require you to minimize what has happened. Counseling can make room for both realities: taking the pain seriously and finding out whether there is enough honesty, willingness, and care to build a more workable relationship.
For some couples, trust is the immediate concern after secrecy, an affair, or another painful breach. For others, the question is how to stop recurring arguments from causing more damage. The first step is not a one-size-fits-all answer. It is an honest understanding of the marriage you are living in now.
You do not need to agree about every detail before asking for help. It is enough to recognize that the current pattern is costing both of you something and that the marriage matters. A fit call gives you space to describe what is happening and decide whether this approach is the right place to begin.
A Useful Place to Begin
Marriage counseling may be a good fit when you are:
- Having the same disagreement about money, parenting, intimacy, household responsibilities, family, or time together.
- Feeling more like roommates, opponents, or co-managers of a household than partners.
- Getting caught in criticism, defensiveness, shutdowns, or long stretches of tension and silence.
- Avoiding important topics because even a small concern can become another painful fight.
- Carrying hurt from secrecy, an affair, or another break in trust that changed how safe the marriage feels.
- Wondering whether you can reconnect without minimizing what has happened.
- Wanting practical help that is fair to both partners and focused on what can change.
Focused, practical work
You Do Not Need to Keep Having the Same Conversation
When a marriage has been hurting for a while, both partners usually have important things they need the other to understand. The trouble is that the ways we try to be heard can become part of the cycle. A request for connection can land as criticism. An effort to avoid another fight can land as rejection. Both partners end up feeling less understood.
Marriage counseling helps slow that sequence down. We make room for the impact each partner is experiencing without turning the session into a debate over whose version counts. That creates a more useful starting point than repeating the facts of the latest disagreement.
My work is structured, Gottman-informed, and teaching-led. Early sessions help us understand your relationship history, strengths, concerns, and goals. From there, we create a practical plan for the conversations and habits that need attention.
That plan can include bringing up concerns more gently, listening without preparing a defense, taking a useful break when emotions rise, repairing after a hard moment, and rebuilding the friendship and connection that make a marriage more resilient. The goal is not to hand you a script. It is to help you develop skills you can use in the relationship you actually have.
You will not be asked to pretend that serious problems are small. If trust has been broken, accountability and clear boundaries matter. If one partner is unsure about staying, it is important to begin in a way that is honest about that uncertainty. The work starts with what is true for your marriage now.
Learn about my Gottman-informed approach →What progress can look like
A Marriage Can Feel More Workable Before Every Problem Is Solved
Progress often starts in quieter ways: a difficult subject stays on one topic, a pause has a clear return time, or an apology can be heard without reopening every past hurt. Those moments give both partners evidence that the marriage can respond differently under pressure. Over time, that makes it easier to bring concerns forward before they become another layer of resentment or distance, and to make more room for warmth in the ordinary parts of the day.
See the pattern sooner
You begin to recognize the familiar sequence that takes over before either of you is fully caught in it. That gives you more choice about what happens next.
Recover after a hard moment
Every couple gets things wrong sometimes. The difference is learning how to pause, repair, and return without letting one difficult conversation become a verdict on the whole relationship.
Make room for connection
Conflict work matters, but a relationship also needs warmth, friendship, appreciation, and ordinary moments of being on the same side. Those are part of the work too.
A workable format
Private online sessions for Ann Arbor couples.
Online therapy can make it easier to keep showing up for the relationship. You can meet from home, a private office, or another quiet place where both of you can speak freely. Many couples find that once they settle into the format, it is easier to protect the time and return to the rest of the day with less disruption.
You will need reliable Wi-Fi, a private space, and a device with a camera and microphone. A computer or tablet is usually easiest when I am sharing something on screen. Both partners need to be physically in Michigan at the time of the session.
Choosing the Right Path
Start with support that fits what is true right now.
When Both of You Want to Repair
Marriage counseling is a strong fit when you both want to work on the relationship, even if you feel discouraged or do not agree about every problem yet.
When Trust Is the Immediate Concern
If the relationship is reeling after an affair or other betrayal, infidelity counseling offers focused support for the questions, boundaries, and repair work that follow.
When One Partner Is Unsure About Staying
If one person cannot honestly commit to repair yet, discernment counseling gives you room to reach a clearer decision without pressure to stay or leave.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you work with couples in Ann Arbor?
Yes. I work with couples in Ann Arbor through secure online sessions. Both partners need to be physically in Michigan when we meet.
What happens in the first few sessions?
The first three marriage counseling sessions are 90 minutes. They include your relationship story, an at-home assessment completed separately by each partner, individual time in session two, and a treatment plan in session three.
What if one of us is unsure about staying in the relationship?
Marriage counseling is most useful when both people want to try to repair the relationship. When one partner is unsure, discernment counseling offers a more honest place to sort through that decision.
How do we get started?
Start by requesting a free marriage counseling fit call. It is a chance to ask questions, share what is happening, and decide whether this approach feels right for you.
Your Next Step
Start with a conversation about what is happening.
A free fit call gives you a chance to ask questions, describe the relationship you are living in, and decide whether working together feels like the right next step.