Communication issues are by far the main issue presented in couples counseling
About 90% of my prospective clients, when I first contact them and ask them how I can help them, say, “We’re having communication problems.” A relationship therapist who doesn’t know how to handle this issue, does not know how to help couples–period!
If you find that you’re arguing a lot with your intimate partner, you may:
- Be completely sick of the tension and/or hostility
- Feel lonely because you’re trying so hard to keep the peace you feel like the two of you are just roommates or business partners instead of friends and lovers
- Feel anxious, like there’s no way to have a conversation without it turning into a fight
- Fear your relationship isn’t going to work out
- Feel like no matter how hard you try to communicate with your partner, they take it personally and get hurt or become critical
- Be starting to feel depressed and/or anxious because it seems like you’ve tried everything, and the problem either stays the same or seems to actually get worse.
Communication problems aren’t just about fighting. Sometimes it’s about icy silence.
You and/or your partner have just shut down because you can’t handle the conflict and criticism any more. You feel like you can never be good enough for your partner. There’s so much tension, so often a sense that a fight could break out. There’s a chill between you and maybe you’re even afraid it’s obvious to the kids. You rarely have sex anymore and when you do, you’re barely connecting, just kind of going through the motions.
I would love to help you find each other and connect to each other again.
It doesn’t have to be this way
After twenty years of doing this work, I can tell you with confidence that it doesn’t have to be this way. I can help you learn how to discuss your disagreements productively and stop feeling like you’re just stuck on a terrible treadmill.
Read more and/or reach out
Check out this mind-blowing reality about communication issues in a relationship (counselors who don’t specialize in couples work won’t know this!), and look at my home page where I address it briefly. Then contact me if you feel like I might be able to help you.