Starting couples counseling can feel daunting, especially if you're not sure what you're walking into. Here's a straightforward account of what you'll get, how sessions are structured, and what I need from you to make the work worthwhile.

What You'll Get

  • A couples-only therapist with specialized training who will not blame or scapegoat either of you. I'm on the side of the relationship, and I'll be straight with both of you.
  • A comprehensive scientific assessment of your relationship's struggles and strengths before we begin intervention work.
  • A specific plan and clear path, not a vague process.
  • Specific exercises and conversations to practice between sessions.
  • Sessions that connect to what's actually been happening in your relationship that week.
  • A written summary after each session with key points, exercises, and tips for applying what you're learning.

How Sessions Are Structured

The first three sessions are what I call the Assessment Stage. This is where I'm building the clearest possible picture of your relationship — where you are, what's gone wrong, and what's still working.

Session 1 is 90 minutes. I want to get to know you as people and as a couple. Between sessions 1 and 2, you'll each complete a thorough scientific relationship assessment on your own.

Session 2 is also 90 minutes, split into individual meetings — 45 minutes with each of you separately. This gives each of you space to speak candidly.

Session 3 is 90 minutes. We review the assessment together, and I share my sense of where we need to start in order to reach your goals.

Starting with Session 4, we move into the Intervention Stage. Sessions from here are 60 minutes, and they're shaped by what I've learned about your relationship and what's happened between sessions.

What I Expect From You

This is the most important relationship in your life. I'll treat it that way, and I need you to as well.

I expect you to come ready to work hard. I expect you to treat our telehealth sessions with the same seriousness as an in-person appointment — good wifi, a private space, kids settled. I expect you to give the process time. How long have you had problems in your relationship? Are you prepared to work consistently for six months to turn things around? It might take less. It might take more. But commit to the process, not a timeline.

Most importantly: come in already accepting that the way you're doing your relationship right now is what's been producing the results you've been getting. That's not a character flaw. It's just the honest starting point that makes the work possible.