Sample session summary

This is an example of what I will often send out to a couple after a couples counseling session, either the same day or the next day. This is the actual summary I use when we cover the topic of repair attempts. Of course summaries are tailored and made personal so I may include my thoughts on the session, an anecdote, or words of encouragement if the couple is having a hard time.

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SESSION SUMMARY: Repair Attempts

Hey you guys! In session tonight we covered Repair Attempts. Here is an excellent article about Repair Attempts that will provide more information for you.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/r-is-for-repair

We discussed how Repair Attempts are things you can both choose to say to keep things on track when they are starting to go sour, so you don’t keep constantly descending into conflict. Repair attempts are unique because instead of being a way of managing conflict, they actually help avoid it altogether. And the majority of the time conflict is trivial and doesn’t really need to be taken that seriously.

Either partner can always use a repair attempt.

When one partner makes a repair attempt, the other partner needs to try to receive it.

ASSIGNMENT: Your assignment is to use the attached list to clear three-five repairs for your partner to use with you. And then look for opportunities to use the repairs your partner has given to you and to respond to your partner’s repair attempts.

Remember to practice this just as I showed you, using only the repairs your partner has cleared so that 1) you don’t accidentally use an attempt they hate and make things worse; and 2) your partner will be likely to recognize the repair attempt you are making because it is one they themselves already cleared for you.

[Repair Checklist would be attached here]