Becoming a Relationship Therapy Client
The Path to Becoming a Client in Couples Therapy
People are often nervous, even fearful, about getting couples therapy. You've been dealing with this issue for a while and may be exhausted, afraid you're going to be scapegoated or blamed, or may simply be afraid of the unknown. Hopefully after reading this post you will feel like the unknown is at least a little bit more known, because I'm going to walk you through from when you initially schedule your meet and greet call with me, right to your fourth session when we kind of get into a rhythm.
Step 1: Meet and Greet Call
You'll log onto the link we'll actually be using for all our telehealth sessions, which will give you a chance to see how comfortable you feel with format. I'll want to get a brief overview of some of the things you need help with (what are the problems, what are the symptoms, and how long -- no history yet). I'll answer any questions you may have for me and explain to you a little about how I work (mostly just what's already written below). If you both decide you want to move forward and hire me to help you, then we'll move to step two.
Step 2: I email paperwork to both of you to complete/sign
I'll get and/or confirm some demographic information for you and email a link to you both to set up a password on my client portal. Then you'll work through the list of documents that will show up. There's a little data entry but it's mostly just signatures I need. It will take about 20 minutes.
Step 3: We schedule our first session
You will get an email confirmation immediately, another email 48 hours before, and a text reminder 24 hours before. This will happen with all scheduled appointments.
What Happens in Our First Three Couples Therapy Sessions (and Beyond)
Session 1
At the beginning of the first session I will review some of the paperwork briefly and respond to any questions/concerns you may have. We'll spend most of our time doing an oral history interview where I'll learn about the history of your relationship and the story of the two of you. At the end of this session I'll email you both a link to take a scientific relationship assessment. It's due before session 2. (90 minutes, $375)
Session 2
In this session I'll meet with each of you individually for 45 minutes. (90 minutes, $300)
Session 3
We'll go over your assessment and I'll present you with a treatment plan to get you where you want to go. We'll collaborate on this to make sure you are happy with what you see and willing to adopt it as our plan. (90 minutes, $300)
Session 4 and Beyond
Starting with session 4 we'll be doing interventions every week, working the treatment plan we agreed on together. All sessions starting here will be 60 minutes, and $300.
What Can We Do To Prepare for Couples Therapy
The prep work here is mostly between your ears. Prepare yourself to look closely at your own contribution to what is and is not working in the relationship. It's best if you can start wrestling a little with the fact that some of what you're doing to make the relationship better has likely been unintentionally making it worse.
Know that over 25 years doing this work, my experiences with individual partners are quite good. I like my clients quite a bit, I enjoy them as individuals and as a couple, and I realize if either of them knew what to do to fix the relationship, they would probably have already done it.
So I see myself as someone who is here to explain why whatever you're doing isn't working, teach skills that will work better, then help you learn to apply them in your relationship so you will get the results you both want.
Come in planning for therapy to be difficult occasionally, but a nonetheless positive experience overall, and often even fun and funny sometimes. The more you are ready to trust me, let me ask challenging questions, and let me gently and carefully teach and guide you, the better our work will go.
I can't wait to get started on our work!